They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
