Who wears a wallet chain?!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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