Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I have aggressive nipples.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
