Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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