Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
