I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
