Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
