Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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