he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
