Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
