I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
