we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
