this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We're too hungover to prance.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
