She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
