Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize