JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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