Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
