I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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