you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
