Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
