Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Let's get the cat blown out
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
