well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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