we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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