32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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