The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Drunk is a universal language darling
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