I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
