i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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