i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
