Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
