I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I wish i was in the wii world.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
