when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
