He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
