umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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