sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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