And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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