she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
