You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
