i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
