I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
