Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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