I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
