i jhust puked up my retainher.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
only you would photoshop your dick
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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