I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
so let's talk penis.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
