we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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