I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
