And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize