he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
