I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize