Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
