You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
