Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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