There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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