it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
