They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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