You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
