Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
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