Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
