Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
