I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
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