WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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