Porn is love you can see.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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