dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
