We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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