I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
