She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize